Many children experience emotions very intensely, but cannot always understand what exactly they are feeling, much less express it in words. Instead of saying “I’m worried,” the child may cry, get angry, withdraw into himself, or throw tantrums.

The skill of recognizing and expressing emotions is the basis of emotional regulation, stable self-esteem and healthy relationships with others. When a child learns to understand their feelings, it becomes easier for them to cope with stress, ask for help, and express their needs without aggression or avoidance.

It’s important to remember: children are not born with this skill. Emotional vocabulary is developed gradually through experience, support and contact with adults.

1. Model emotions in everyday life

The first thing a child learns is to observe adults. If parents talk openly and calmly about their feelings, the child begins to understand that emotions are normal, safe and not ashamed.

Instead of:
“Everything is fine”

Try:
– “I’m upset now because I’m tired”
– “I feel anxious before an important meeting”
– “I’m glad we spend time together”

This is how the child begins to associate internal sensations with specific words and learns to recognize emotions in himself.

Mini-instructions:

• name your emotions out loud;
• explain the reason for the feeling;
• show ways of self-regulation: “I’ll breathe and rest a little.”

2. Use emotion cards

For many children, it is easier to first see an emotion visually than to immediately describe it in words.

Emotion maps help:

• expand emotional vocabulary;
• notice differences between feelings;
• reduce anxiety during difficult conversations.

You can buy ready-made cards, print them or draw them with your child.

How to use:

Throughout the day, ask:

– “Which card is similar to your condition now?”
– “What happened before that?”
– “Where do you feel it in your body?”

Over time, the child begins to better notice his internal states and associate them with events.

3. Discuss the emotions of book and cartoon characters

It is often easier for children to talk not about themselves, but about the characters. Stories create a safe distance through which a child learns to understand emotions and behavior.

While reading or watching, ask questions:

– “What do you think the hero is feeling now?”
– “Why did he do this?”
– “What helped him cope?”

Particularly useful are story books that show different emotional states and relationships between people.

Why it works:

The child gradually learns to notice:

• reasons for emotions;
• the connection between feelings and behavior;
• ways of emotional regulation.

4. Play role-playing games

Play is a natural way for a child to learn. Through role-playing games, children safely experience different emotions and learn to express them in words.

Can be played:

• friends quarrel;
• losing a game;
• fear of the doctor;
• joy from surprise;
• resentment or jealousy.

Example:

“Let’s imagine that your toy is lost. How do you feel? What do you want to do?

5. Create a safe space for conversations

A child will not be able to talk openly about feelings if he is afraid of criticism, punishment or devaluation.

Phrases like:

– “Don’t cry”
– “It’s OK”
– “You are overreacting”

They can teach a child to suppress emotions instead of understanding them.

Much more useful:
– “I see that it’s hard for you now”
– “Are you upset?”
– “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Try introducing a family ritual:

For example, every evening discuss:

• what made me happy today;
• what upset you;
• which was the most difficult thing.

This gradually forms the habit of noticing and speaking about your experiences.

If a child does not understand his feelings

Some children have a really hard time recognizing emotions. They may only say “ok” or “bad”, confuse anxiety with anger, and fatigue with irritation.

This is especially common:

• with high anxiety;
• ADHD;
• autism;
• emotional exhaustion;
• Alexithymia – difficulty recognizing and describing emotions.

In such cases, the child receives additional support and gradual training in emotional awareness.

It is important to remember: if a child cannot name a feeling, this does not mean that he does not experience it.

When to contact a specialist

Specialist support may be helpful if your child:

• often becomes hysterical or aggressive;
• cannot explain what he feels;
• withdraws into himself;
• experiences severe anxiety;
• avoids communication;
• has a hard time with changes and stress;
• does not calm down for a long time after emotional situations.

Animago coachs and coaches help children develop emotional regulation, communication skills and a sense of internal security through a gentle and individual approach.

If you notice that your child has difficulty coping with his emotions, you can contact Animago coachs for advice.

Book a consultation

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